‘Remember me
when I am gone away,
Gone far
away into the silent land...'
~Christina Rossetti, “Remember”
~Christina Rossetti, “Remember”
Patient 01, diagnosis depression…
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
My name is Hank Breyten. This is the forty-eighth day of my treatment. Anything I say in no manner represents the Nano Enterprises. I am aware that professionals have access to these records. I am also aware of the implications of continuing this treatment.
I recall the day it was confirmed - my cognitive strength diminishing. I had suspected it for a while, the symptoms were obvious - the insecurity. The illness creeping in quietly inching its way to my mind, twisting and pulling; the Black Dog. I’m aware that this is not scientifically correct, but when I had initially experienced this feeling I wasn’t thinking about the lack of serotonin in my brain. How could I, when all that I could think about was the hopelessness of my situation? The gloomy forecast that was set over my failures. I had an opportunity to take the world by storm; I let it pass me by. Cowardice forced me to take a step back, to be safe as opposed to daring when I had the chance to rid the disease. My life was my work and if I ruined that, there’d be nothing for me.
I was diagnosed with depression. The symptoms matched; I was getting little to no sleep, my thoughts were deadly and the idea of simply not existing appealed to a side of me that only yearned for peace. People say those who are depressed are sad, constantly in tears over something or the other. It’s worse than that; sadness is an emotion. No, I had to face the void, where my chest would feel heavy, and I would lie in bed staring up at the ceiling; emptiness enveloping me in her shallow, cruel embrace. Luckily I was employed at Nano Enterprises, specialising within nanotechnology. Only because of that, was I able to start getting the treatment I needed.
So let me lay the facts out for you. There’s a nanite in my brain, urging the basal ganglia to create more serotonin in order to balance the chemical levels. This tiny two nanometre robot that inhabits my brain is priceless. The effects are already obvious, my moods have slithered back in and I’ve been able to sympathise with others; a huge improvement. Impersonating living things in the nanite world is key; they are more likely to survive because of their shape, manner of living and transportation. The nanite is shaped like a sea lamprey, in which the mouth carries the tryptophan, the creator of serotonin through complex chemical reactions. This way the mouth’s protected and further harmful reactions are prevented through careful placement of the amino acid. There is a miniscule camera at the top of the mouth and that’s for me. Each night before I settle into bed, it’s my responsibility to make sure that there’s an adequate amount of the hormone being released (see; remote access) otherwise it could potentially give me Serotonin Syndrome and let’s say that that isn’t ideal. Consequently, I constantly navigate the nanite around the brain to adjust the receptors for the serotonin or to encourage further growth.
I’m the first test subject, seizing the opportunity to use my own work within my body. And so as to be able to trace my journey I’ve decided to keep a diary through the Chip, a device that is planted into the right hand, index finger at birth. My experience will be life-changing, leaving my brain flawless.
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
My name is Hank Breyten. This is the forty-eighth day of my treatment. Anything I say in no manner represents the Nano Enterprises. I am aware that professionals have access to these records. I am also aware of the implications of continuing this treatment.
I recall the day it was confirmed - my cognitive strength diminishing. I had suspected it for a while, the symptoms were obvious - the insecurity. The illness creeping in quietly inching its way to my mind, twisting and pulling; the Black Dog. I’m aware that this is not scientifically correct, but when I had initially experienced this feeling I wasn’t thinking about the lack of serotonin in my brain. How could I, when all that I could think about was the hopelessness of my situation? The gloomy forecast that was set over my failures. I had an opportunity to take the world by storm; I let it pass me by. Cowardice forced me to take a step back, to be safe as opposed to daring when I had the chance to rid the disease. My life was my work and if I ruined that, there’d be nothing for me.
I was diagnosed with depression. The symptoms matched; I was getting little to no sleep, my thoughts were deadly and the idea of simply not existing appealed to a side of me that only yearned for peace. People say those who are depressed are sad, constantly in tears over something or the other. It’s worse than that; sadness is an emotion. No, I had to face the void, where my chest would feel heavy, and I would lie in bed staring up at the ceiling; emptiness enveloping me in her shallow, cruel embrace. Luckily I was employed at Nano Enterprises, specialising within nanotechnology. Only because of that, was I able to start getting the treatment I needed.
So let me lay the facts out for you. There’s a nanite in my brain, urging the basal ganglia to create more serotonin in order to balance the chemical levels. This tiny two nanometre robot that inhabits my brain is priceless. The effects are already obvious, my moods have slithered back in and I’ve been able to sympathise with others; a huge improvement. Impersonating living things in the nanite world is key; they are more likely to survive because of their shape, manner of living and transportation. The nanite is shaped like a sea lamprey, in which the mouth carries the tryptophan, the creator of serotonin through complex chemical reactions. This way the mouth’s protected and further harmful reactions are prevented through careful placement of the amino acid. There is a miniscule camera at the top of the mouth and that’s for me. Each night before I settle into bed, it’s my responsibility to make sure that there’s an adequate amount of the hormone being released (see; remote access) otherwise it could potentially give me Serotonin Syndrome and let’s say that that isn’t ideal. Consequently, I constantly navigate the nanite around the brain to adjust the receptors for the serotonin or to encourage further growth.
I’m the first test subject, seizing the opportunity to use my own work within my body. And so as to be able to trace my journey I’ve decided to keep a diary through the Chip, a device that is planted into the right hand, index finger at birth. My experience will be life-changing, leaving my brain flawless.
Voice recording stopped.
~ ~
Patient 01, diagnosed with depression…
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
Hank Breyten here. Nothing that I say endorses any aspects of Nano Enterprises; these are individual thoughts and opinions. Today’s the fifty third day of my treatment.
I should probably explain how we managed to get the nanite into my body. I had to undergo a few too many tests; my body pricked with sharp needles, and blood constantly extracted. The thing is to be able to protect this expensive technology from my leukocytes (see; white blood cells); we had to disguise the nanite as one of my very own cells. The only manner in which to implement this would be to coat it in a layer of antigens that my body would recognise as ‘self’. This would allow it to travel through my blood stream (see; the circulatory system), without the leukocytes trying to annihilate it, so that it could make its way up to the basilar artery from where a gaseous exchange would occur and practically, the nanite would be diffused from the blood along with oxygen, allowing it to travel to the specific portion of the brain where it could proceed with its work.
Whilst the nanite possesses a form of artificial intelligence, it isn’t enough for the nanite to become independent possibly causing destruction and chaos, like the millions of horror stories that plague today’s society of robots becoming overly intelligent. I access the data chips of the nanite, and that’s where the camera comes in, giving me a view of my gruesome host body but also the marvellous sight of the brain. Problems may occur and since I’m the operator, it’s up to me to fix them.
We don’t know how long this treatment will take. I’m slightly scared, but anticipating the moment when the nanite will expel itself from my body and my brain will be in control again. Right now, it feels like the nanite is a life support system for my mind. I’m exhilarated. And yet, I can’t help but feel dismal because I swear there’s something I’ve missed.
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
Hank Breyten here. Nothing that I say endorses any aspects of Nano Enterprises; these are individual thoughts and opinions. Today’s the fifty third day of my treatment.
I should probably explain how we managed to get the nanite into my body. I had to undergo a few too many tests; my body pricked with sharp needles, and blood constantly extracted. The thing is to be able to protect this expensive technology from my leukocytes (see; white blood cells); we had to disguise the nanite as one of my very own cells. The only manner in which to implement this would be to coat it in a layer of antigens that my body would recognise as ‘self’. This would allow it to travel through my blood stream (see; the circulatory system), without the leukocytes trying to annihilate it, so that it could make its way up to the basilar artery from where a gaseous exchange would occur and practically, the nanite would be diffused from the blood along with oxygen, allowing it to travel to the specific portion of the brain where it could proceed with its work.
Whilst the nanite possesses a form of artificial intelligence, it isn’t enough for the nanite to become independent possibly causing destruction and chaos, like the millions of horror stories that plague today’s society of robots becoming overly intelligent. I access the data chips of the nanite, and that’s where the camera comes in, giving me a view of my gruesome host body but also the marvellous sight of the brain. Problems may occur and since I’m the operator, it’s up to me to fix them.
We don’t know how long this treatment will take. I’m slightly scared, but anticipating the moment when the nanite will expel itself from my body and my brain will be in control again. Right now, it feels like the nanite is a life support system for my mind. I’m exhilarated. And yet, I can’t help but feel dismal because I swear there’s something I’ve missed.
Voice recording stopped.
~ ~
Patient 01, diagnosed with depression…
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
Nothing I say represents the Nano Enterprises, and today’s the eighty first day of my treatment.
It’s been a tumultuous month and emotionally, a very taxing one. I should be taking better care of myself; stress can dramatically influence the amount of serotonin produced. I’ve been thinking, and I’ve realised that this technology is powerful; it’s too strong and I fear will be the cause of future conflict. Forget stray artificial intelligence, this is the real issue of today’s society.
Having access to a brain is no easy feat. It potentially means that the nanite is able to influence thought and personality and has the opportunity to reduce the production of hormones causing serious issues. No one would suspect a thing due to the bloody creature being nanoscopic.
The darkness is starting to seep through and I have a suspicion it is because of the thoughts that have appeared. My sleeping patterns are out of whack again and I swear there is something I’m forgetting, but I don’t know what it is. I’m irritable one moment, and sobbing the next. I’m lost and I’m angry. Everyone gives me knowing looks; why? I can’t concentrate on anything and the worst part is that the hollowness has returned. What have they done to me? What have I done to myself?
What is the point of the nanite? There is the potential for it to cause more harm than good. I’d rather be unhealthy, than be at risk of my body being hacked. I’d prefer to be dead than to have anyone or in this case, anything, controlling my very being.
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
Nothing I say represents the Nano Enterprises, and today’s the eighty first day of my treatment.
It’s been a tumultuous month and emotionally, a very taxing one. I should be taking better care of myself; stress can dramatically influence the amount of serotonin produced. I’ve been thinking, and I’ve realised that this technology is powerful; it’s too strong and I fear will be the cause of future conflict. Forget stray artificial intelligence, this is the real issue of today’s society.
Having access to a brain is no easy feat. It potentially means that the nanite is able to influence thought and personality and has the opportunity to reduce the production of hormones causing serious issues. No one would suspect a thing due to the bloody creature being nanoscopic.
The darkness is starting to seep through and I have a suspicion it is because of the thoughts that have appeared. My sleeping patterns are out of whack again and I swear there is something I’m forgetting, but I don’t know what it is. I’m irritable one moment, and sobbing the next. I’m lost and I’m angry. Everyone gives me knowing looks; why? I can’t concentrate on anything and the worst part is that the hollowness has returned. What have they done to me? What have I done to myself?
What is the point of the nanite? There is the potential for it to cause more harm than good. I’d rather be unhealthy, than be at risk of my body being hacked. I’d prefer to be dead than to have anyone or in this case, anything, controlling my very being.
There’s someone at my door – one
of the researchers who help monitor my brain. Slightly confused.
Voice recording stopped.
This file hasn’t been saved; are you sure you want to shut down?
This file hasn’t been saved; are you sure you want to shut down?
~ ~
Patient 01, diagnosed with major depression, serotonin syndrome.
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
My body has started revolting against the nanite. There’s too much serotonin in the system, it was an effort from the brain to get rid of the foreign material. What we didn’t count on was the fact that serotonin is also made in the gut. This increases the levels in the brain. It had been completely forgotten – and thus we hadn’t been able to monitor it.
I’m terrified. It’s dark in this room, they say that I’ve become too dangerous but I don’t remember doing anything. I don’t know how many days have passed - I’m unable to access the nanite remotely as well, they’ve either removed or disabled it.
Why did we ever mess with natu-
Start voice recording? Yes.
Voice recording commenced.
My body has started revolting against the nanite. There’s too much serotonin in the system, it was an effort from the brain to get rid of the foreign material. What we didn’t count on was the fact that serotonin is also made in the gut. This increases the levels in the brain. It had been completely forgotten – and thus we hadn’t been able to monitor it.
I’m terrified. It’s dark in this room, they say that I’ve become too dangerous but I don’t remember doing anything. I don’t know how many days have passed - I’m unable to access the nanite remotely as well, they’ve either removed or disabled it.
Why did we ever mess with natu-
Voice recording deleted.
“For, if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than you should remember and be sad.”
~Christina Rossetti, “Remember.”
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than you should remember and be sad.”
~Christina Rossetti, “Remember.”
~~
So, that's my baby. The curing of depression with a nanobot, before it all goes wrong. Overdone? Possibly. The raw draft was much, much, better frankly, however I had to cut down atleast a few hundred words. So yes.
How's life going for you? I barely get to talk to you anymore, you little shit.
